


The Real Thing

by cozynajaemin



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, English Major Doyoung, Happy Ending, Italics are Doyoung's writing, Jaehyun is a soft best friend, Kind of told in snapshots??? but they're pretty cohesive, Light Angst, M/M, Mark and Doyoung are roommates, Sicheng is a blessing to his friend, Soccer player and PoliSci Major Yuta, Teen and up for drinking, barely there, but there is a little jaewinmark scene and a lot of the best friends chatting with each other, it's a doyu fic, just some sad bois, like really light, quite a bit of smooching, teen and up for make out scene, teen and up for swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 13:09:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18250490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cozynajaemin/pseuds/cozynajaemin
Summary: Yuta is a soccer player who wears a leather varsity jacket and likes politics and is super friendly. Doyoung is an English Major with a focus in creative writing and he somehow finds that all of his main characters resemble the soccer player.





	The Real Thing

_When the summer met fall, that’s when he came alive. His cleats kicked up dirt, his legs covered in grass stains, yet he was at his most beautiful. He stood underneath the sun, running his fingers through his hair. He ran effortlessly across the field, trucking and stealing the ball before kicking it towards the goal in the top right corner. The smile that adorned his face outshone the very sun that made his skin glow. He was ethere-_

“Doyoung, what are you doing?” Jaehyun nudged him and rolled his eyes, “You’re not even paying attention the game.”

“I’m sorry,” Doyoung shut his computer, “I was writing.”

“At a soccer game?” Jaehyun chuckled. 

“Inspiration is everywhere,” Doyoung sighed. 

“That’s such a Hallmark quote,” Jaehyun rolled his eyes.

Doyoung giggled, “Sorry.”

“So what did you find so inspirational?” Jaehyun asked. 

“None of your business,” Doyoung scoffed.

“Oh come on,” Jaehyun whined, “You always tell me what you’re writing about.”

“6,” Doyoung replied, “He’s in one of my lectures.”

“Ah, Nakamoto Yuta, striker, poli-sci major, here on a soccer scholarship, junior, and part of the honors college,” Jaehyun informed him. 

“It’s scary how you know all of these things about everyone,” Doyoung shook his head.

“You’d be surprised who all you know and meet when you’re a recruiter for a frat and have a double major in communications and non-profit,” Jaehyun chuckled, “or just going out and talking to people rather than keeping your nose in your keyboard.”

Doyoung rolled his eyes, chuckling, “Alright I get it.”

“He’s super friendly,” Jaehyun helpfully supplied, “He wasn’t interested in Greek life, but he’s super cool and sometimes shows up to parties with Sicheng.” 

“Sicheng?” Doyoung asked. 

“My boy interest,” Jaehyun replied, “Mark introduced us.”

“Boy interest,” Doyoung repeated, laughing loudly.

“Shut up,” Jaehyun chuckled.

“So tell me about him and you,” Doyoung smiled, “It’s my turn to pry in your business.”

“You’re my least favorite person, do you know that?” Jaehyun leaned back on his hands, closing his eyes and letting the sun hit him, “It’s taking time for us to warm up to each other. He’s not very open, but neither am I really, so it’s difficult. We both care for Mark though, so we’re trying, and spending more time one on one together, and at parties and such, and I think we’re getting there. I’m definitely interested in him a lot.”

“Awe, that’s so sweet,” Doyoung cooed.

“I will shove you down this hill,” Jaehyun replied, “but thanks.”

“Anytime,” Doyoung said, “Also you should take me to one of your frat parties.”

“Oh my God, really?” Jaehyun smiled widely, “You actually want to go?”

“Yeah,” Doyoung shrugged, “It’ll be fun.”

“Yes it will,” Jaehyun smiled, “There’s one on Friday. We can even get ready together!” 

Doyoung chuckled, “Sounds perfect.”

 

_His hips swayed slightly offbeat, but it was still enrapturing. He was tipsy but still aware that every eye in the room was on him. He loved it. He swayed his hips a little more, smiling like a star. The way he moved was sensually classy, like a sixties movie star at the after party of a premier. Except this was no movie, this was real life. A real-life person in a real-life situation; a situation that will be engrained in the hearts of everyone who had the blessing of seeing hi-_

“Doyoung,” Jaehyun whined, clearly drunk, “You’re not enjoying the party.” 

“I am, I promise. I’m having a blast,” Doyoung told him through his own slurred words.

“You’re writing again,” Jaehyun pouted, “You know I support your writing, but you gotta live in the moment. Enjoy the party, write it tomorrow. Please.”

“Fine,” Doyoung closed his computer, “I’ll go put my laptop in your room, and be right back.”

“Okay,” Jaehyun smiled. 

Doyoung plopped back down on the couch next to Jaehyun, empty-handed.

“What were you even writing about?” Jaehyun asked.

Doyoung pointed at Yuta. 

“Ah,” Jaehyun nodded, “Go dance with him.”

“No, no no no,” Doyoung quickly shook his head, “I don’t dance.”

“Yes you do, I’ve seen you when we went clubbing,” Jaehyun said, “I’m telling you, he’s super cool, even outside of your novel, so get off your ass and dance with him. Sicheng says he likes dancing with people, but Sicheng usually does it because they’re always together.”

“Do I have to?” Doyoung whined. 

“Absolutely,” Jaehyun nodded, “You’re here to have a good time, so grab another drink, and go dance with your muse.”

“Don’t say it like that,” Doyoung sighed. 

“I’m gonna say it however I want, now go down that vodka cranberry that you so desperately love, and dance with Yuta,” Jaehyun pushed him up from the couch.

“Fine, fine, I’m going,” Doyoung huffed.

Doyoung went to the kitchen and started chugging his vodka cranberry while Jaehyun gave him an annoyingly bright smile and a thumbs-up. 

Doyoung shimmied his way through the crowd, letting the alcohol warm him and letting the music move him, as he closed his eyes, giving into the party. As the alcohol slowly lowered his inhibitions, he made his way closer to Yuta, stumbling into him. 

“Woah there,” Yuta helped Doyoung get steadied on his feet, “Are you okay? Do you need water? Or a seat?”

Doyoung was surprised that he stood an inch taller than Yuta.

“No, I’m fine,” Doyoung shook his head, “I just want to dance. Would you be so kind as to dance with me?”

“Of course, Doyoung, it would be my pleasure,” Yuta smiled. 

“You know who I am?” Doyoung’s eyes widened.

Yuta laughed, “Yeah. You’re in my honors seminar for comparative politics. You fell asleep that one day and the teacher asked you an example of how nationalist movements were an opposition to neo-liberal attitudes in developing countries, and you managed to wake up and answer the question correctly. I was in awe.”

Doyoung chuckled, “I hate that class.”

“I think it’s interesting,” Yuta shrugged, “but I’m a poli-sci major, so I love politics.”

“English major,” Doyoung told him, “focus in creative writing.”

“Ah,” Yuta nodded, “That’s cool.”

“Thanks,” Doyoung smiled, “You too.”

“Thanks,” Yuta rubbed the back of his neck, “So dancing?”

“I’m gonna need another drink to get back into it,” Doyoung laughed.

“I think that’s the last thing you need right now,” Yuta chuckled, placing his hands on Doyoung’s waist, “Just feel the music.”

Doyoung put his arms on Yuta’s shoulders, linking his hands behind Yuta’s neck. He leaned his forehead against Yuta’s, and let himself get lost in the music and in Yuta. The music blared through the speakers, vibrating the floor and changing Doyoung’s heartbeat to the beat of the music. He swayed his hips, Yuta’s hands still on his waist. Yuta started swaying with him, pulling Doyoung closer. Doyoung leaned his head back, his body towards Yuta, his eyes closed as he let the music overwhelm his senses. 

Yuta knew Doyoung was beautiful, but this Doyoung that was in front of him right now was so ethereal. The way he is leaning back, hanging onto Yuta to hold himself up as his eyelashes gently touched his cheeks. Doyoung turned around, leaning his head back on Yuta’s shoulder, Yuta’s hands still on his waist. Yuta put his chin over Doyoung’s shoulder. They swayed their hips together to the beat perfectly. Yuta commended Doyoung on having perfect rhythm despite being completely drunk. 

They danced until Doyoung’s legs felt tired and his mouth felt dry. 

“I’m thirsty,” Doyoung said.

“Go sit down,” Yuta said directly into his ear, “I’ll get you a drink. Water?”

Doyoung nodded, “Thank you.”

Doyoung collapsed on the coach he and Jaehyun were on, only there was no Jaehyun. His legs were like jelly, and he could feel the exhaustion and drunk sleepiness weighing on him. Jaehyun liked to tease him for being a sleepy drunk.

“Doyoung,” Yuta shook his shoulder, “Your water.”

“Thank you,” Doyoung smiled sleepily. 

“Do you need help getting home?” Yuta asked.

Doyoung shook his head, “Jaehyun. Jaehyun’s room.”

“Jung Jaehyun?” Yuta asked, “President of the frat?”

Doyoung nodded, “He’s my best friend. I’m sleeping in his room so I don’t have to go back to apartment wasted.”

“That’s very kind of him,” Yuta asked, “Do you want me to find him?”

Doyoung shook his head, finishing the water, “Just help me walk there.”

“Lead the way,” Yuta helped Doyoung stand.

Doyoung had his arm loosely draped around Yuta’s shoulders, and Yuta had his arm firmly around Doyoung’s waist, helping him up the stairs. They walked down the dimly lit hallway, Doyoung nearly stumbling into the wall, but Yuta steadied him quickly. Doyoung struggled to twist the doorknob but got Jaehyun’s door open. Yuta picked Doyoung up and laid him on the bed, tucking him underneath the covers. 

“It was nice dancing with you Doyoung,” Yuta said, “I’m gonna get going now. Sleep well. I’ll have Jaehyun bring you water and an Aleve in the morning for the hangover.”

“Thank you, Yuta. Goodbye,” Doyoung turned on his side, nuzzling his head into the pillow. 

Yuta smiled fondly. “Goodnight,” he closed the door, leaving Doyoung alone.  
Jaehyun just came up the stairs, bumping into Yuta. “What are you doing?” Jaehyun asked, surprised to see him.

“Oh, I’m just leaving. Doyoung’s in your room,” Yuta told him. 

“What the fuck?” Jaehyun stepped closer, his face twisted in drunk anger, “He was drunk. How could you?”

“Wait, oh my God, no,” Yuta quickly shook his head, “He got tired downstairs and said he was staying with you, so I put him in your bed. That’s it. I swear. I would never do something like that.”

Jaehyun backed up, relaxing, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed. I’m just really overprotective of him.”

“No, I get it. He said you were his best friend, and this situation could definitely raise suspicion and concern. If I were you, I would’ve reacted the same way. I should’ve worded things better,” Yuta said. 

“Thank you for taking care of him and making sure he got up here safely,” Jaehyun patted Yuta’s shoulder, “You are as nice of a guy as I told him you were.”

“Thanks,” Yuta chuckled, “Get in there. I told him I’d have you bring him water and Aleve, but you are just as drunk, so I’ll get some for both of you in the morning and then head out.”

“Thank you, Yuta, you’re good company,” Jaehyun smiled, walking back into his room.

Yuta smiled, rolling his eyes. Dealing with cute, drunk boys was always an adventure. 

 

\----------------

 

“Doyoung?” Yuta was standing in front of his desk looking down at him. 

“Hey, Yuta,” Doyoung smiled. 

“Another honors seminar together,” Yuta hummed sitting in the desk next to Doyoung, “I’m beginning to think our meeting is a sign.”

“Maybe it is,” Doyoung shrugged. 

Yuta smiled brightly, and Doyoung swore the sun was shining in the classroom despite the storm raging outside. 

“Any chance you’ll like honors ethics more than honors comparative politics?” Yuta asked, chuckling.

Doyoung gasped dramatically, earning a loud laugh from Yuta. “Yes, I think I will. Ethics is a really interesting topic. You see it a lot in life and in literature. I mean Plato’s Allegory of the Cave had some ties to ethical theories. It’s very cool.”

Yuta grinned widely as he listened to Doyoung talk about all of the different literature pieces that could be tied into ethical theory, and even though some of it went over his head, he had a great time listening. 

“So do you think you’ll like this seminar?” Doyoung asked. 

“Not as much as I like comparative politics, but I think I will,” Yuta answered.

“Cool,” Doyoung smiled. 

“Did you read the syllabus?” Yuta asked him. 

Doyoung laughed once before seeing Yuta’s serious face. “Did you?” he raised an eyebrow. 

“Yeah,” Yuta nodded.

“You’re kidding?” Doyoung’s mouth dropped open.

“No,” Yuta shook his head, “Does the varsity soccer throw it off? Do I not look like the type of guy to read a syllabus?”

“I didn’t think anyone was the type of guy to read the syllabus. It’s like the terms and conditions agreement. No one actually reads those.”

Yuta opened his mouth to speak, but Doyoung held up a finger. 

“If you tell me you read the terms and conditions agreement, I will no longer speak to you,” Doyoung said. 

Yuta closed his mouth. 

Doyoung shook his head, trying to hide the smile on his face. 

“Well, the syllabus said we’re having a partner paper for this course. It’s a research synthesis essay on one ethical theory of our choice with it’s opposing theory, or as close to it as there is, or a philosopher of our choice with the neo- philosophizers of the one we choose. I was wondering if maybe you would like to be my partner for the paper. It’s going to be assigned in two weeks and due at the end of the semester on May 7. We can use information from the class, but we also have to do most of our own research,” Yuta told him.

“Yeah,” Doyoung nodded, “I would be honored to work with you on it.”

“Cool,” Yuta smiled. 

“Cool,” Doyoung smiled back. 

 

“Meet me at the soccer field at six and we can walk to the library to figure out the paper together?” Yuta suggested.

“You still have practice?” Doyoung gasped, “In this weather? Didn’t the season just finish in November?”

Yuta chuckled, “The fall season did, but the spring season starts in February, so we started to practice the day after the semester started.”

“Geez,” Doyoung sighed. 

“So,” Yuta nudged him lightly, “Meet me there?”

“It’s cold though,” Doyoung pouted.

“I’ll lend you my varsity jacket,” Yuta chuckled, rolling his eyes, “It’ll be nice to walk together.”

“Fine,” Doyoung folded his arms. 

“Six o’clock,” Yuta pointed a finger, walking backward to leave. 

“Yeah, I got it,” Doyoung told him.

Doyoung smiled on the way back to his dorm, earning a weird look from a few of the students he passed. He threw his backpack on the ground, before jumping facedown on his bed. He squealed into his pillow, kicking his feet back and forth. He flipped onto his back after he was done muffling his squeal into his pillow, a dopey smile plastered on his face. 

“What was that about?” Mark asked from his desk in their shared dorm. 

Doyoung jumped up, “How long have you been there?”

“An hour and a half,” Mark raised his eyebrow, “My last class got done at 1:20.”

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” Doyoung straightened his shirt out, sitting up properly on his bed. 

Mark chuckled, “So what caused you to collapse on your bed and squeal like a schoolgirl that went to my Catholic high school when the senior boy they liked smiled at them in the corridor.”

“What an oddly specific simile,” Doyoung tilted his head, “but uh, Yuta wanted to meet at the soccer field and walk to the library with me and offered me his jacket. I was going to wear a coat, but now I’m just going to wear a long sleeved tee shirt.”

“You’ll freeze walking to the soccer field,” Mark pointed out.

“Hmmm, you’re right,” Doyoung replied, “I’ll put on a sweater.”

“Just wear your coat,” Mark sighed.

“Not a chance,” Doyoung shook his head, “I’m making sure I get that jacket.”

“Okay then. Have it your way,” Mark chuckled, rolling his eyes, “Hey, when are you going to be back?”

“I don’t know, probably around nine or ten, maybe later,” Doyoung shrugged, “Why?”

“Jaehyun and Sicheng are coming over, so I need to dorm empty,” Mark replied. 

“Oh,” Doyoung nodded, “Just keep it off my bed, and I’ll try to stall Yuta, just text me when I’m clear to come back.”

“Wait, no, oh my goodness,” Mark shook his head quickly, “Nothing is happening on my bed either. I’m just going to force them to hash out some feelings, and open up to each other. It’s been months and they still haven’t worked things out fully.”

“Oh,” Doyoung nodded, “Well I know Jaehyun is extremely fond of Sicheng, but he’s not one for showing emotions that often. He likes him, and he really likes you. If anyone can get him to open up, it’s the two of you.”

“Thanks, I hope so,” Mark rubbed the back of his neck. 

“If it doesn’t work out, just give them time. Time is always a healer of all things. So tonight may end up being the final catalyst for the results you want, but it may not bear the results you want immediately.”

“Thanks, Doyoung,” Mark patted his hand, “I’ll keep that in mind.” 

“Anytime, kid,” Doyoung smiled, “Wanna watch a movie to help us both relax?”

“God, yes, please,” Mark sighed, crawling next to Doyoung in his bed so they could share the computer screen. 

 

_Somehow I find his jacket isn’t as warm as he is. Being around him is like sunbathing. A warm tingle on the skin; a bright light behind the eyelids; warming every part of the body and the soul. I could be wearing a tee shirt in the cold, and the second he smiles at me, suddenly it’s like sipping ice tea on a lovely June evening. I’ve never felt a warmth like this._

“Doyoung,” Yuta smiled widely, walking up to him outside of the library. 

“Hey,” Doyoung smiled back. 

“We should get inside,” Yuta saw Doyoung shivering, “It’s getting cold.”

“I didn’t even notice,” Doyoung muttered to himself.

“So how do we want to do this?” Yuta asked as they found a table, “I know we picked our topic yesterday, but what’s the plan of action?”

“Okay, so for each set of research we will open a new browser, and gather the research and outline each part of the research. Then we can work together to organize the research into an outline for paper and switch around the order of things to make it sound as cohesive as possible,” Doyoung told him, pulling out his laptop. 

“I see why you’re an English major,” Yuta chuckled. 

“You’re lucky to have me,” Doyoung smiled.

“You’re so right,” Yuta agreed, “I’m gonna grab a coffee, do you want anything?”

“Coffee,” Doyoung said, and then his stomach growled, “And one of the packages of sushi. I don’t think I’ve eaten today.”

“Doyoung!” Yuta gasped.

“Scold me later,” Doyoung told him. 

Yuta shook his head, trying to contain his smile, “I’ll be back.”

“How much do I owe you?” Doyoung asked when Yuta got back with the coffees and sushi.

“Absolutely nothing,” Yuta smiled, “It’s on me.”

“Well thank you kindly,” Doyoung smiled, “You’re a real gentleman.”

“So are you sure you’re okay with our focus being consequentialism?” Yuta asked settling in next to Doyoung, opening his notebook.

“Yeah,” Doyoung nodded, “I told you that, but we have to do utilitarianism because that’s one of the three main theories, and utilitarianism is a consequentialist theory.”

“I know, but I just want to check,” Yuta replied.

“I promise I’m okay with doing utilitarianism. It’s my second favorite. Utilitarianism has a lot of good points that we’ve looked at so far. It has a focus on the action bringing the best outcome for the most people. It’s hard to not support that. There are of course points that are kind of iffy, but that is in all the three main theories, but we can address those points in the paper. As much as I love virtue ethics, I also love utilitarianism. So I really am okay with it,” Doyoung placed his hand on top of Yuta’s. 

Yuta looked down at Doyoung’s hand on his own, and Doyoung quickly retracted his hand. 

“I’m sorry,” Doyoung said awkwardly.

“No,” Yuta smiled, “It’s okay. I didn’t mind.”

“Oh,” Doyoung blushed, “So anyway, yeah, I’m okay with doing utilitarianism.”

“Cool,” Yuta nodded, “Let’s do it then.”

They worked for a few hours and most of their “work” consisted of them chatting and giggling with each other, barely focusing on the essay. Doyoung had never felt this comfortable around a person so quickly. He could feel his heart race at every smile and laugh Yuta sent his way, and Doyoung didn’t mind being so smitten. 

 

“Come watch my soccer game, please?” Yuta grabbed Doyoung’s hands in his own, begging. 

“I have a deadline for a short story coming up next week,” Doyoung replied.

“Pretty please,” Yuta pouted, “You can write while you’re there. I won’t be upset. Just knowing you’re there is enough.”

“But-,” Doyoung started.

“Please,” Yuta squeezed his hands. 

“Fine, fine,” Doyoung resigned, “I’ll come.”

“Yay!” Yuta shouted, throwing his arms around Doyoung in a hug.

Doyoung smiled, hugging Yuta back. 

“I should get going,” Yuta frowned, “I have my Law in Society lecture in 10 minutes.”

Doyoung reluctantly let go, “Yeah, have fun. I’ll see you at your game tonight.”

“See ya,” Yuta winked, leaving Doyoung. 

After three breakdowns, and a phone call to Jaehyun, and a Mark buried under a pile of rejected clothes, Doyoung was finally ready to head to the soccer field. 

“He just asked you to watch him play soccer,” Mark huffed from underneath the pile of Doyoung’s clothes, “You’ve done it before. Hell, you see him no less than three times a week for the lecture.”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion,” Doyoung pointed at Mark. 

“Just calm down, Doyoung,” Mark sighed, “You’re going to be okay. It’s just a soccer game. He’s going to be playing anyway.”

“I know,” Doyoung replied, “but if he looks over or if we do something after, I want to look nice.”

“Alright, alright,” Mark threw his hands up, “You better get going, the game starts in twenty and they’re already warming up.”

“Right, yes,” Doyoung grabbed his room key and backpack with his computer and a picnic blanket shoved in it, “Throw my clothes on my bed and I will put them up properly when I get back, thank you, love you.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, have fun!” Mark smiled. 

Doyoung set up his picnic blanket on the hill next to the soccer field, his cardigan pulled around him tightly due to the early March chill. Yuta jogged up to him, standing at the bottom of the hill. 

“You came!” Yuta smiled.

“I told you I would,” Doyoung smiled back.

“I’m very glad you did,” Yuta told him, “With you here, I know I can do well. You’re my good luck charm.”

“Shut up,” a blush crept up Doyoung’s neck.

Yuta winked at him, “You’re cute when you blush.”

“Go finish warming up,” Doyoung glowered.

“Yes sir,” Yuta laughed, saluting with two fingers before jogging back to warm up, occasionally stealing glances at Doyoung.

Doyoung didn’t have an idea for his assignment but seeing Yuta run around on the field, his skin glowing and his smile bright, he found inspiration. As Doyoung started writing about Yuta, he suddenly became hyperaware of his vulnerable heart that he was putting into this piece. Doyoung reread every single word he had already written and could feel his breath catch in his throat. He slammed his computer shut and quickly packed up, not sparing a glance towards Yuta whose game was still going on, as he ran back to his dorm. 

 

“Are you okay?” Yuta asked whenever he sat down next to Doyoung in their lecture. 

“Yes,” Doyoung nodded, “Why?”

“You ran off before the game even ended,” Yuta shrugged, hiding the disappointment in his voice, “I wanted to grab dinner with you afterward. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah,” Doyoung nodded, “An emergency came up, I needed to talk to Mark.”

“Are you okay?” Yuta furrowed his eyebrows, “Is Mark okay? Oh my goodness, is Jaehyun okay?”

Doyoung couldn’t help but smile, “We’re all fine, Yuta. Calm down.”

“I know we’re only project partners, but I really consider us friends as well, so if you ever want to talk, I’m here for you. Always. Any time of the day,” Yuta assured him. 

“Thank you, Yuta, that means a lot,” Doyoung smiled. 

“Speaking of dinner,” Yuta smiled, “Would you like to grab some before we meet to work on the paper. Los Portales is a nice walk from the library, and it’ll be on me.”

“I would love to go to dinner with you,” Doyoung smiled, “I’ll pay for mine though, you don’t have to.”

“Yeah, but I’m going to. I want to,” Yuta told him.

Doyoung’s heart sped up at the sentiment. “How can I pay you back?” Doyoung asked. 

“You don’t have to,” Yuta replied, “your smile is enough payback for me.”

“Shut up,” Doyoung’s earns burned. 

“I’ll pick you up at your dorm at five,” Yuta said. 

“See ya then,” Doyoung smiled. 

 

_Kindness like that is unparalleled. Kindness like that is a rarity. To meet someone who is constantly kind and loving without expecting anything in return, or without getting tired of being so unselfish, is a beautiful altruistic anomaly. I treasure it. I treasure him. Being around him is like a breath of fresh air. When the wind blows on a warm day, bringing a pleasant and welcome breeze, is when you can feel him. He is a breeze personified. Taken for granted by some, but some know how to fully appreciate the true blessing of his presen-_

“I’m truly worried about you,” Jaehyun sighed from next to him. 

“What? Why?” Doyoung asked. 

“Do you have feelings for Yuta?” Jaehyun asked him.

“No,” Doyoung lied. 

“Well I think you do,” Jaehyun told him, “and that worries me. You write like you’re in love with him.”

“And if I was?” Doyoung crossed his arms.

“Doyoung,” Jaehyun sighed, “Yuta is a great person, but you hardly know him. I’m worried that if this continues, and if Yuta starts feeling something for you too, it won’t work because you’ll be disappointed. As great of a person as Yuta is, he has flaws. You’ve created this perfect version of him, and I’m worried that you might be in love with the idea of Yuta that you created, but not Yuta himself, the very real and very human person.”

“I know that,” Doyoung rolled his eyes, “I know how to keep them separate.”

“Do you?” Jaehyun raised an eyebrow, “As history shows, you’ve not kept them separate before.”

Doyoung flinched, “You promised me you would never bring that up again.”

“I promised you I wouldn’t bring it up again if you learned from your mistakes,” Jaehyun corrected. 

“I have learned from my mistakes,” Doyoung replied, “Yuta and I have been working on a project for our honors ethics seminar, and I’m getting to know him as a person. For my writing I take the pieces I want from him, but in real life, I see him as the whole person that he is. Maybe I am starting to like him.”

“Fine, whatever, just be careful,” Jaehyun replied. 

“You don’t have to coddle me,” Doyoung snipped, “I’m not some broken, fragile thing you need to protect. I can take care of myself.”

“Yeah okay,” Jaehyun folded his arms, “When Ten broke your heart because he wasn’t like what you thought he was, and I was there helping you pick up the pieces and not judging you even though I knew that you had done the same thing with him as you did with Kun in high school, and I warned you not to, but you did it anyway, that was you being able to take care of yourself, was it? That was two times I had to see you heartbroken and had to help you get back to the normal, happy Doyoung. Which I didn’t mind doing, because you’re my best friend and I would do anything for you, but it doesn’t mean I want it to happen again. So I’m sorry for being protective, I’m sorry for ‘coddling’ you, but if it happens a third time, I’m not sure what else I can do except say, ‘I told you so,’ because you refuse to listen to anything I say, and I’m tired Doyoung. I don’t want to see the Kun and Ten situation repeat itself again.”

“I didn’t ask you to help me, you did that on your own. I don’t need or want your help or your protection. I don’t want anything from you; I never did. You wanted to be my friend in my middle school, remember? Not the other way around,” Doyoung folded his arms as well. 

“Fine, you don’t have to come to me for anything ever again. I’m not the new kid anymore, you don’t have to pretend to be my friend anymore. I’m done being your good karma if that’s all I am to you. If you never wanted to be my friend, fine, you get your wish. So when something happens with you and Yuta, don’t come crying to me. I’m done trying to help if you’re going to keep making the same mistake over and over again. I’m done trying to help if all I’ve been is a pity friend. Have fun dealing with it on your own,” Jaehyun stormed off, trying to hold back the tears that were already building in his eyes. 

Jaehyun couldn’t get a hold of Mark, so he called the only other person he could think of that wasn’t Doyoung. He called Sicheng, finally allowing himself to fully break down in tears the second he made it across campus and into Sicheng’s arms. 

“Jaehyun,” Sicheng said softly, “What happened? Talk to me.”

“Doyoung and I got in a fight,” Jaehyun choked out.

“Oh honey,” Sicheng held him tightly, “It’ll be okay. I know it seems like it’s the end of the world, but you’re best friends. You may fight, but you will always find a way back to each other.”

“He told me that he didn’t need me or want me as a friend. Then, I told him that if he gets hurt again, he can’t come to me,” Jaehyun cried, “What kind of person says that to someone? I’m a terrible friend.”

Sicheng swallowed, “Should I call Mark?”

Jaehyun shook his head, “He’s not answering.”

“Oh,” Sicheng replied, “Well even though we’re awkward around each other still, I want you to know that I’m very fond of you and care about you a lot, and I’m here for you. I think you’re an amazing person. This fight with Doyoung doesn’t change that. I know you’re tired of seeing him hurt, which is why you said those things. Jae, you are an incredibly caring person, but I’ve noticed that sometimes you can get really passionate and heated about certain things. I know you. I know the second something happens to Doyoung, and he tells you, you’ll go back and be there for him, even though you said you wouldn’t. So don’t equate yourself to the things you said in the heat of an argument. You are kind, loving, and amazing. That’s what you should equate yourself to because that’s who you are. I don’t know Doyoung very well, but I know he cares for you too. He loves you. I know he didn’t mean that he doesn’t want you as a friend. He really does love you. You’re his best friend, remember that, okay?”

“Thank you, Sicheng,” Jaehyun hugged him, “I really needed to hear that.”

“Of course, love,” Sicheng ran his hand through Jaehyun’s hair. 

“What should I do?” Jaehyun asked, his voice desperate.

“This might sound crazy, but this always works for me and Yuta. Yuta and I actually get in fights all the time, some are worse and more heartbreaking than others, but we’ve found a way that works for us,” Sicheng continued to stroke Jaehyun’s hair, “I know it sounds insane, but we typically avoid each other until we can’t stand it anymore. It’s like being apart helps us realize how much we need each other and how much we love each other until we are full sprinting back to each other and talking it out.”

“I can kind of see how that works,” Jaehyun nodded, “It’s typically opposite of what most people do, but I can see how it works. Thank you, Sicheng.”

“You’re welcome,” Sicheng kissed his forehead.

“You and Yuta get into fights?” Jaehyun did a double-take.

“Oh, all the time,” Sicheng chuckled, “We’ve gotten in two small ones and one large one since I’ve known you.”

“You never said anything,” Jaehyun muttered. 

“I didn’t want to bother you,” Sicheng shrugged, “or Mark even. Plus, Yuta and I already know how to solve it.”

“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt,” Jaehyun laid down on the bed.

“That’s true; it hurts like hell,” Sicheng laid down next to him.

Jaehyun scooted over to where his shoulder was touching Sicheng’s. “You can talk to me next time it happens. I’ll be here for you,” Jaehyun told him, “I want to be there for you.”

“I will,” Sicheng told him. 

“Good,” Jaehyun smiled, “I’m glad we had this talk. I’m glad I came to you.”

“Mark would be so proud of us,” Sicheng smiled too.

Jaehyun’s chest rumbled, his body gently shaking as he chuckled, “He would. I would do anything for him.”

“Me too,” Sicheng agreed, “He deserves the world.”

“So do you,” Jaehyun replied. 

“Jaehyun,” Sicheng whispered.

Jaehyun hummed.

“I don’t know if this is the right time,” Sicheng’s voice was still quiet, “Especially since we’ve never done this without Mark, but can I kiss you?”

Jaehyun turned to look at Sicheng who was still looking at the ceiling. “Yes,” he replied.

Sicheng turned to look at him, their faces already close. 

“Well,” Jaehyun said smiling. 

“Sorry, I’m just-,” Sicheng sighed, “taking it in. I want to be perfect.”

“Sicheng, anything you do will be right. I don’t want it to be perfect. I want it to be you,” Jaehyun rested his hand on Sicheng’s cheek. 

Sicheng moved to straddle Jaehyun; Jaehyun never moved his hand. 

“Is this okay?” Sicheng asked from above him. 

Jaehyun nodded fervently, “Definitely.”

Sicheng leaned down slowly, his hands on Jaehyun’s shoulders. Jaehyun’s heart picking up speed with every passing second. Jaehyun shut his eyes, waiting for Sicheng to connect their lips, but he could still feel Sicheng moving slowly. Jaehyun opened his eyes again. They made eye contact and Sicheng stopped, his face only half an inch from Jaehyun’s.

“Sicheng, please,” Jaehyun whispered, “Hurry.”

Sicheng nodded, leaning down to finally connect his lips with Jaehyun’s. He gently started moving his lips against Jaehyun’s. Jaehyun moved in sync with his. Sicheng felt himself smile into the kiss before he could stop himself. Jaehyun moved his hands to Sicheng’s waist, slipping his cold hands underneath his shirt. Sicheng gasped, and Jaehyun slipped his tongue into Sicheng’s mouth. Sicheng shivered at the sensation, letting Jaehyun take control of the kiss. 

Jaehyun kissed the corner of Sicheng’s mouth, then his jaw, then his neck, and then back to his lips. Sicheng pulled away and laid his head on Jaehyun’s chest, his knees still on either side of Jaehyun’s thighs. Sicheng sighed contently, “I don’t want to move.”

“Then don’t,” Jaehyun chuckled, “You can stay there. We can take a nap. We both need it.”

“That sounds nice,” Sicheng replied, yawning, “I really like you Jaehyun.”

“I really like you too,” Jaehyun ran his hand through Sicheng’s hair. 

Their chests rose and fell into a slow and synchronized rhythm as they fell asleep. When Mark walked in Sicheng’s dorm to drop off some food, he couldn’t help but smile at the two, and he definitely couldn’t bring himself to wake them up. He kissed both of their foreheads as he settled into Sicheng’s desk chair waiting for them to wake up, maybe taking a picture or two that he would definitely set as his lock and home screen.

 

“You said I could come to you at any time of the day, right?” Doyoung asked over the phone, “And you’d always be there?”

“Yes, of course. I meant it too. What’s wrong?” Yuta asked worriedly. 

“Can we meet somewhere? I really need to cry into a tub of ice cream right now,” Doyoung chuckled bitterly. 

There was rustling on Yuta’s end of the line, “Meet me outside your building. I’m on the way.”

“Are you running?” Doyoung asked.

“Full on sprinting,” Yuta replied, “I’ll be there soon. Meet me outside and I’ll take you to get ice cream and then we can hide away in my apartment and you can tell me everything.”

“Okay,” Doyoung replied, “Thank you. I’ll see you soon.”

“See you,” Yuta hung up.

Doyoung walked out, his shoulders dropped and not their usual posture. He saw Yuta sprinting towards him and let out a weak smile.

Yuta stopped in front of him, “Hey.” 

“Can you just hug me, please?” Doyoung asked. 

Yuta immediately pulled Doyoung into a hug, his arms wrapped tightly around his waist. Doyoung wrapped his arms around Yuta’s neck, nuzzling his head into Yuta’s neck. Yuta rubbed circles into Doyoung’s back with one hand, knowing that was something that helped him calm down. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Yuta asked. 

“Jaehyun and I got in a fight,” Doyoung said, his lips brushing Yuta’s skin as he talked.

“About what?” Yuta asked.

“Can I tell you later?” Doyoung asked, “If I talk about it, I know I’m going to start crying, and I don’t want to do that in public.”

“Yeah, of course,” Yuta nodded, “Let’s go get that ice cream now.”

“Thank you,” Doyoung let his body relax. 

Yuta hesitated in letting Doyoung go, but he knew he needed to so they could walk, but for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to stop hugging him. Eventually, Doyoung let go of Yuta so Yuta was forced to let him go as well. 

“Distract me,” Doyoung said suddenly, “Talk about anything. Just something to get my mind off of it.” 

Yuta talked about soccer. It was one of the easiest things he could talk about. He looked over to see Doyoung was still inside his own head, his eyes unfocused as he let whatever happened between himself and Jaehyun consume his thoughts. Yuta changed tactics. “Have you read Lord of the Flies?”

“Are you kidding?” Doyoung’s eyes lit up, “It’s only one of my favorite books!”

“Well I just finished yesterday, and I really liked it,” Yuta told him. 

“What did you think about it?” Doyoung asked, “Not as in like you thought it was good, but like did you analyze it? What did you think of the themes, and the symbolism, and the meanings?” 

Yuta went into a long-winded explanation of his thoughts and feelings about the book, and Doyoung was hooked. He was laser focused on Yuta and the words coming out of his mouth, and occasionally adding in his own comments and points of clarification when necessary. He wasn’t thinking about his fight Jaehyun. Yuta smiled to himself, seeing how happy Doyoung looked in that moment. 

After Yuta had got Doyoung settled on his bed, and he had eaten a few spoonfuls of ice cream, Yuta finally asked again, “What happened?”

Doyoung sighed and took another spoonful of ice cream, “So in the past, I’ve done some stupid things and ended up with my heart broken. Jaehyun was always there for me and helped me get back to where I felt happy again. He’s worried that I’m making that same mistake, which I won’t get into because I don’t want to expose what I’m going through exactly because, at this point, I haven’t quite figured it out. Anyways, Jaehyun was worried and voiced his worries, and I told him to stop coddling me and protecting me because I don’t need it nor do I want it. So Jaehyun said fine, and that he wouldn’t do it anymore, and that next time I make this mistake to not come to him anymore because he’s done trying.”

“Oh my God,” Yuta furrowed his brows, “He really said that to you?”

“If I was him, I would too,” Doyoung replied, “I can't imagine what it’s like for him to drop everything he has going on his life just to help me, only for me to throw it back in his face and do the same thing over and over again.”

“Doyoung, everyone is entitled to mistakes, even multiple of the same one. Yes, you should try to not make those mistakes again, but sometimes it happens. Jaehyun shouldn’t be mad at that.”

“He wasn’t though,” Doyoung sighed, “He didn’t actually get mad until I told him I didn’t need him or want him. Then I told him that he was the one who wanted to be my friend, not the other way around. What kind of person says that to someone?”

“Doyoung, you were upset, you said things you didn’t mean. That happens in fights. Hell, whenever Sicheng and I fight, we say things we don’t mean. It happens. Doyoung, it doesn’t make you a bad person. You just have to realize that are a lot of apologies and healing are in order. You have to try to not throw back the same insults next time because then it starts to look like you mean it. An effort needs to be made on both sides though, so don’t think you’re the only one who needs to get it together. You both do.”

“What should I do next then?” Doyoung asked. 

“This is going to sound so counter-productive, but it works for me and Sicheng every time. We avoid each other until we can’t stand it. Then we go running back to each other and talk it out and hug a lot,” Yuta told him.

“That does sound counter-productive, but at this point, I’m willing to try anything,” Doyoung nodded, “Thank you, Yuta.”

“Of course,” Yuta smiled, “I’m always here for you.”

“Can I ask one more favor?” Doyoung asked quietly.

“Of course you can,” Yuta nodded.

“Can I stay here tonight?” Doyoung looked down at his hands, “I just don’t know where Mark’s going to be and with him being Jaehyun’s boyfriend and my roommate things might be tense. I’ll sleep on the couch or on the floor, I swear I won’t be any trouble.”

“Doyoung, that’s ridiculous,” Yuta sighed. 

Doyoung flinched at Yuta’s words. “Yeah,” he fiddled with his thumbs, “You’re right. I don’t know why I asked.”

“No, that’s not what I meant,” Yuta quickly said, “I meant it’s ridiculous that you could ever think you’d be any trouble, or that you would have to sleep on the couch or on the floor. You’ll sleep in my bed.”

“Oh,” Doyoung finally made eye contact with Yuta, “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” Yuta smiled, “I’ll let you borrow some of my clothes for pajamas.”

“Thank you,” Doyoung smiled, “One more question. Where will you sleep?”

“On the couch,” Yuta told him.

“But-,” Doyoung started.

“I don’t mind,” Yuta shrugged. 

“I do,” Doyoung’s lips pursed into a pout, “Sleep in the bed. There’s room for both of us.”

“Are you sure?” Yuta asked. 

“Yeah,” Doyoung nodded, “It won’t bother me. Unless you’re uncomfortable, then I take it back.”

“I’m okay with it,” Yuta smiled. 

“Cool, cool,” Doyoung nodded.

“Cool,” Yuta chuckled. 

Yuta gave Doyoung a pair of joggers and a tee shirt, and let him get settled before changing and joining him. “Let’s finish this ice cream and watch a couple of movies, and then we can call it a night,” Yuta told him.

“Sounds perfect,” Doyoung grinned. 

“I should warn you,” Yuta grinned widely, “I’m quite the cuddler.”

“Perfect,” Doyoung giggled, “Me too.”

Doyoung woke up the next morning with his legs tangled with Yuta’s, and it was the most peaceful he felt sleeping in a long time. 

 

_The wildest storms can be calmed by him. Anytime I feel stressed, he manages to calm me down. I feel a true peace with him. No matter what is going on in my life, hearing his voice, seeing his face, feeling his touch, covers me in a blanket of security. Something I’ve needed since the whirlpool of feelings and fights I’ve managed to get myself swept up by. With his legs tangled in mine, the early morning sun hitting his skin and illuminating his body, his eyes gently closed with a sleepy smile on his face, I realized there is nothing more serene than this very moment._

Yuta wrapped his jacket around Doyoung’s shoulders, and let Doyoung slip his arms in the jacket. 

“You look cute in my jacket,” Yuta said suddenly.

“Shut up,” Doyoung rubbed the back of his neck.

“I will not,” Yuta chuckled.

“I hate you,” Doyoung chuckled.

“Do you?” Yuta smirked. 

“No,” Doyoung huffed.

“That’s what I thought,” Yuta smiled.

Doyoung rolled his eyes, yet couldn’t keep the smile off his face.

“So,” Yuta started, “Have you talked to Jaehyun yet? It’s been two weeks.”

Doyoung shook his head. 

“Oh,” Yuta said, “Well that’s okay! It’ll happen.”

“Yeah, it will,” Doyoung nodded, “I miss him a lot, but I’m waiting for that breaking point as you said.”

“It’ll work out,” Yuta smiled, “In the meantime, I’m always here.”

“I know you are,” Doyoung patted his arm, “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” Yuta replied. 

Doyoung set up his laptop on one of the tables outside of the library, as Yuta grabbed their notebooks and textbooks. 

“Can you believe we’re almost done?” Yuta sighed. 

“Almost done?” Doyoung whipped his head around to look at Yuta, “We still have twenty more pages and it’s due in a month.”

“A little less than a month,” Yuta corrected.

“Why would you say that?” Doyoung dramatically collapsed on the table. 

“We have time, Doyoung,” Yuta replied, “We got this.”

“Let’s get started on this next section; the Hedonistic Calculus,” Doyoung pulled out one of the notebooks from the pile, “This is all the notes I’ve organized on it, so far. So if you want to check that out, and open a new tab of research to look for stuff, I’ll go grab us some iced coffees and bagels.”

“That sounds perfect,” Yuta smiled, “Vanilla iced coffee and a chocolate chip bagel with extra cream cheese.”

“On it,” Doyoung replied, “I’ll be back.”

Yuta couldn’t take his eyes off of him as he walked away. Seeing Doyoung walk away with Yuta’s number and his last name on the jacket on Doyoung’s back, stirred something domestic in Yuta. Yuta smiled and shook his head, turning back to the research. 

Yuta opened a new browser, pulling up the first few articles. As he went to switch browsers to connect the research, and he noticed a browser full of Google Doc tabs all open. He heard their ethics professor’s voice in his head telling Doyoung how much the English department adores his work. He clicked on the browser and began reading.

As Yuta read passages about soccer, dancing at a party, wearing his jacket, waking up with tangled legs after a fight, and his mind began reeling as his mouth hung open in shock. Surely he wasn’t crazy; these situations and experiences were too specific to his and Doyoung’s interaction to be a coincidence. 

He was so wrapped up in reading Doyoung’s writing, he never heard Doyoung walk up behind him. He heard a crash and whipped his head around to see Doyoung standing behind him, the coffee burst on the ground and the bagels smashed from where he dropped both of them. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Doyoung asked in shock, his voice small.

Yuta winced at Doyoung’s sad voice. “Doyoung, I, um,” he stuttered, his brain not finding an answer.

“What is wrong with you?” Doyoung’s eyes started to fill up with tears, realizing his true feelings had been exposed, “Why would you go through my computer?”

“No, no, no, it wasn’t like that,” Yuta shook his head, “I was just opening a new browser for the next section, and it was there and I was just curious.”

Doyoung closed his computer, snatching it away from Yuta. “We’re done here,” a tear slid down Doyoung’s cheek, “I’ll finish our project on my own.”

“Doyoung, wait,” Yuta reached out to him.

Doyoung shook his head, “Stay away from me.” 

Doyoung took off running, Yuta’s jacket still on him, only this time Yuta wasn’t smiling watching him walk away. 

 

“I messed up,” Yuta told Sicheng, “I messed up really bad.”

“What happened?” Sicheng asked gently.

“I read Doyoung’s stories without his permission,” Yuta frowned. 

“Oh yeah,” Sicheng nodded, “You fucked up.”

“I didn’t mean to, but they were right there and he never lets anyone read his stories, but he always gets praise from his professors, and I wanted to know how good he was. I was just curious,” Yuta looked down.

“That still doesn’t excuse what you did, but it’ll be okay,” Sicheng gripped his shoulder comfortingly, “Just go to him and apologize.”

“He told me to stay away from him,” Yuta shook his head.

“Just let him cool down,” Sicheng shrugged, “He’ll let you apologize soon enough.”

“I don’t think so,” Yuta sulked, “Not this time.”

“What?” Sicheng asked. 

“His stories,” Yuta took a shaky breath, “They’re about me. Every main character resembles me in some fashion. Sicheng, he’s been writing about me.”

“Oh my God,” Sicheng gasped.

“I don’t know what to do or what to think,” Yuta hugged him, “I just want Doyoung back.”

Sicheng pulled Yuta closer, hugging him tightly, “Do you like him?”

“I don’t know,” Yuta shrugged.

“I think he likes you,” Sicheng told him.

“You think?” Yuta asked bitterly. “Of course he does. Sicheng, the way he writes about me… I think he might be in love with me,” Yuta’s eyes widened, “Oh my God, he’s in love with me and I didn’t even give him a chance to process it himself or tell me on his own time. I exposed him to me too soon. What if he was waiting for the right time? What if he never wanted to tell me? I took that choice away from him. Oh no, Sicheng, what do I do? I forced his feelings out. I fucked up. I fucked up so bad.”

“Yuta,” Sicheng rubbed his back, “Breathe. Calm down. It’ll be okay. It’ll all work out how it’s supposed to, okay. Just breathe.”

“Help me, Sicheng,” Yuta begged, “What I do? How do I fix this?”

“Honestly, Yuta,” Sicheng sighed, “I think you should stay away from him.”

“What?” Yuta jumped back, shocked.

“Just listen to me for a second,” Sicheng said, “You know better than anyone that after a fight or a bad situation, you need to sit back and think before you force yourself to deal with it head-on. You need to figure out what you feel, first. You need to figure out if you like him or not. For now, give him space. Hell, give yourself space until you know what your own feelings are.”

“Oh, okay,” Yuta nodded, “Yeah, that’s a good idea. Thanks, Sicheng.” 

“Anytime,” Sicheng hugged him again, “Now let’s get a movie on and a whole day of comfort cuddles.”

Yuta chuckled, “Okay.”

 

Doyoung’s fingers were shaking as he pulled up Jaehyun’s contact through the tears blurring his vision. 

“Hey,” Jaehyun answered the phone sleepily.

“Oh, sorry did I wake you?” Doyoung asked. 

“Yeah, I was just trying to sleep in today,” Jaehyun replied, “No trouble though.”

Doyoung sniffled.

“Doyo,” Jaehyun asked gently, “What’s wrong?”

“What, nothing, nothing’s wrong, I’m fine, everything is fine,” Doyoung’s voice cracked.

“You’re crying, I can tell,” Jaehyun replied, “What happened?”

“Yuta,” Doyoung choked out, his sobs getting harder again. 

“Where are you?” Jaehyun asked while the sound of rustling happened in the background, looking for clothes.

“Outside the frat house,” Doyoung replied.

“Come inside,” Jaehyun told him, “I’ll meet you in the kitchen and we can make some chamomile and talk in my room.”

“Okay,” Doyoung said weakly, hanging up.

Doyoung stepped into the house and sat down on the barstool. He tried to wipe his tears before Jaehyun saw him, but Jaehyun was already behind him. Doyoung made eye contact with him and Jaehyun gave him a weak smile. Jaehyun didn’t say anything as he began to make the tea. 

“Jaehyun,” Doyoung said once Jaehyun got the water boiling.

Jaehyun leaned against the counter, folding his arms, staring at Doyoung, his eyes holding an emotion Doyoung couldn’t quite read. 

“Are you not going to say anything to me?” Doyoung asked.

“I’m going to be honest with you Doyoung, I don’t know what to say to you right now,” Jaehyun sighed, “We need to talk about whatever is happening with you, but we’ll do that in my room so you don’t get interrupted or our conversation invaded by another frat member. So until then, we have nothing to talk about.”

“Talk to me about anything,” Doyoung said, “How was your day?”

“It was fine,” Jaehyun replied.

“Why are you so awkward with me?” Doyoung asked. 

Jaehyun rolled his eyes. “Are you fucking kidding me?” Jaehyun asked harshly. “You made it pretty clear that the only reason we’re even friends is that I wanted to. I’m sorry I bothered you and guilted you into being my best friend for nine years. You don’t have to worry about it anymore. You can just tell me whatever’s bothering you and then I’ll help you and we can go our separate ways. You don’t have to pretend anymore; so stop trying.”

Doyoung’s heart broke at the sight in front of him. Jaehyun was trying so hard to be angry, but his voice was cracking and his cheeks were wet. Wet anger, is what Doyoung described it as. When you want to be mad, and you are, but you care so much that you can’t help but cry. Doyoung hated himself for saying such cruel words to Jaehyun; for breaking Jaehyun like this. 

“Jaehyun, listen to me,” Doyoung said gently, “I didn’t mean it. I love you so much, you’re my best friend in this entire world, and I’m lucky to have you. I’m so glad you came up to me and wanted to be friends. You had the courage that I didn’t have. I’m an idiot for saying that, and I regret more than anything, please forgive me.”

“I know you didn’t mean it,” Jaehyun frowned, “but it still really hurt.”

“I can only imagine,” Doyoung looked down, “I don’t know why I said that. Even with how angry I was at you, that was no excuse for me to say something like that and make you doubt our friendship. You being in my life is one of the greatest things that ever happened to me. You’re the best person that’s ever happened to me, and I should have said something so toxic and hurtful. I’m sorry.”

Jaehyun ran across the kitchen and threw himself into Doyoung’s arms, hugging him tightly. Doyoung hugged him back, wrapping his arms completely around him while leaning his head onto his shoulder. Doyoung could feel Jaehyun shaking, so he held him tighter. 

“I’m sorry for crying,” Jaehyun said, “You know I normally don’t like doing that. We were supposed to talk about you, and here I am crying about me.”

“Hey,” Doyoung made Jaehyun look at him, “We will talk about me in your room. We needed to have this talk too, clearly. I have never regretted anything more than saying what I said to you, and I’m glad we talked through this. Two conversations can be had in one sitting, especially one as important as this. Jaehyun, we really had to have this talk, so don’t apologize, and definitely, don’t apologize about crying. I don’t mind you showing your emotions to me.”

“I really missed you,” Jaehyun hugged him tighter. 

“I missed you too,” Doyoung smiled.

The tea kettle started whistling from the stovetop, startling Jaehyun and Doyoung. They jumped, the barstool falling over, spilling them off the stool and onto the floor. Jaehyun groaned, as his elbow hit the floor. “Ow,” Doyoung exclaimed, his back and head hitting the floor. 

They turned to look at each other, bursting into a fit of giggles. The tea kettle was still whistling as they giggled, lying on the tile floor.

“I swear to God,” Johnny yanked the kettle off the stove, then stood over them, “I don’t know what’s going on here, and frankly I don’t care, but if you let the kettle go off that long again while I’m trying to sleep in on my Saturday morning, I swear I will castrate you both without remorse.”

Doyoung froze, but Jaehyun just laughed louder. Johnny rolled his eyes and smiled, and Doyoung started giggling again. 

“I’m going back to bed,” Johnny chuckled, “Please keep it down from now on.”

“Okay Johnny,” Jaehyun got up, pulling Doyoung up after him. 

Jaehyung sat their tea on his bedside table before plopping down in the bed, gesturing Doyoung to join him. 

“Explain,” Jaehyun said, giving Doyoung his tea, “What did Yuta do? Do I need to kick his ass?”

“I left him to do research while I was getting us breakfast, and he read my stories,” Doyoung could feel the lump in his throat start to swell again, “All the ones I wrote about him. He didn’t even ask if he could read them, he just did.”

“Okay, yep,” Jaehyun replied, “I’m going to kick his ass.”

“No, Jaehyun, don’t,” Doyoung said quickly, “Just stay with me.”

Jaehyun nodded, “Okay.”

“What should I do?” Doyoung asked.

“I don’t know, Doyoung. This is completely different from the Ten and Kun situations,” Jaehyun answered, “How did Yuta react to knowing you write about him? Did he seem weirded out or does he maybe like you back?”

“I don’t know,” Doyoung said, “I just told him to stay away from me and then took off.”

“You still have his jacket on,” Jaehyun pointed out.

“Fuck,” Doyoung quickly shrugged the jacket off his body, “I don’t know what to do.”

“Give yourself time to compose yourself,” Jaehyun told him, “I would skip Monday’s lecture because I know you haven’t missed yet and you have six excused absences for honors classes. Then on Wednesday, show up to class, hand him his jacket back, then gauge his reaction. See if he is avoidant of you or if he is trying to get you close to him again.”

“Jaehyun, you are a genius,” Doyoung hugged him, “That sounds like a perfect plan, I love you.”

“I love you too, Doyoung,” Jaehyun hugged him back, “I’m glad we’re okay again.”

“Me too,” Doyoung smiled. 

“Also, if Yuta turns out to be an asshole about it, let me know and I’ll beat him up,” Jaehyun said. 

Doyoung laughed loudly, “Yeah, okay. You large softie.”

“Shut up, I could take him if I wanted,” Jaehyun chuckled. 

“Mhmm,” Doyoung hummed. 

“Okay, so the plan for this weekend is to get really drunk at the party tonight and then a whole day of binge eating and watching Netflix tomorrow. We’re going on a no thinking about Yuta cleanse,” Jaehyun told him. 

“God bless, I need that,” Doyoung smiled, “What should I do with his jacket until Wednesday?” 

Jaehyun pointed to his closet, “Just toss it in there.”

So Doyoung did. 

 

Doyoung was getting completely wasted for the second weekend in a row. Yuta wasn’t in class Wednesday so Doyoung just left the jacket with Mark to give to Sicheng who would give it to Yuta. He moved seats in ethics and pointedly ignored every single glance from Yuta when he finally did come back to class. So here he was, planning on getting blackout drunk in Jaehyun’s frat house again. 

“Doyoung,” Jaehyun sighed, “I’m getting worried again.”

“No reason to,” Doyoung replied, “I’m just having fun.”

“Since when do you do that?” Jaehyun tried to joke, “Usually you’d be sitting here writing until I drag you away from the keyboard.”

“It’s kind of been hard to write since the whole thing happened,” Doyoung rolled his eyes, taking a shot of tequila. 

“Shit, Doyoung, I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about that.” Jaehyun took the tequila from him, “None of that. You will do something you will regret. Just drink some Hennessey and cry like the rest of us.”

“Not in the mood to cry,” Doyoung told him, grabbing a bottle of Tito’s clear vodka, “Just want to have fun. You don’t have to babysit me.”

“Fine,” Jaehyun frowned, “Stay within eyesight of me, though, please. That’s all I ask.”

“Alright, Dad,” Doyoung rolled his eyes.

“Thank you,” Jaehyun sighed.

Doyoung mixed some vodka with a sprite, holding his glass and the bottle. He could feel Jaehyun’s worried gaze on him. Doyoung sighed. He called Mark, “Hey, can you come to the party and keep Jaehyun company. He’s doing that thing where he worries incessantly, and I’m sure you being here would alleviate his distress. You can even call Sicheng.”

“Oh, bless his heart, okay,” Mark replied, “Tell him to relax and enjoy himself and I’ll be there soon.”

“Yeah, will do,” Doyoung hung up. 

Doyoung stood in the corner drinking his vodka and sprite slowly as to not worry Jaehyun any further. Soon Mark arrived with Sicheng… and Yuta. “Fuck,” Doyoung cursed to himself. 

Mark and Sicheng immediately went up to Jaehyun. Jaehyun shifted his attention to them, which allowed Doyoung to put down the glass and sneak off to one of the empty rooms of a graduated frat member. He leaned against the door letting out a heavy sigh before sitting on the bed, leaning against the backboard and pulling his knees up to his chest. 

He took a drink straight from the bottle, wincing at the burn in his throat. He heard a knock on the door. 

“Occupied, do not disturb,” Doyoung called out. 

“Too bad,” he heard Yuta reply right before he pushed the door open and closed it behind him. 

“Go away,” Doyoung told him. 

“Not a chance,” Yuta sat down on the end of the bed. 

“Seriously, Yuta,” Doyoung rolled his eyes, “Please, just fuck off.”

“No,” Yuta told him, “I won’t. We need to talk.”

“I have nothing to say to you,” Doyoung took another a drink. 

“Well I have a lot to say to you, so you can just listen then,” Yuta told him and then took the bottle, “and I would prefer you to be somewhat sober while you do.”

“Fine,” Doyoung crossed his arms. 

“Thank you,” Yuta sighed, “I have questions, but if you’re not going to answer them, then I guess I won’t.”

“Ask them,” Doyoung sighed, “You might as well. You already read the most private part of my life. There’s literally nothing you can ask that will be more invasive than that.”

Yuta winced at his sharp tone, “Sorry.”

“A little too late for that,” Doyoung hugged his knees, “Ask your questions.”

“Are you in love with me?” Yuta asked.

“It’s complicated,” Doyoung sighed, “I’m in love with the version of you I created in my writing, but in real life, I don’t know you well enough to be in love with you. I like you. That much is certain. I like the real you a lot.”

“Since when?” Yuta asked.

“I don’t know,” Doyoung shrugged, “All I know is I realized it at the soccer game you invited me to. That’s why I ran off. That was the emergency.”

“Oh,” Yuta replied, “So why did you write about me? Why not just tell me, or talk to your friends? Did you turn in assignments written about me?”

“It’s easier for me to write about people or experiences I know about. Even if I wrote a very romanticized of you that doesn’t necessarily match you in real life, it had a base that I knew, which is you. I definitely didn’t want to confess to you because I am terrified of rejection. Writing is just my outlet for my thoughts and feelings. Not always, but sometimes, depending on the assignment details. Not everything I write is about you.”

“Fair enough,” Yuta nodded, “Why are you avoiding me?”

“You read my writing without my permission, which held all of my feelings about you in them. I was a little mad at you for you doing that, and I really wanted to save myself the embarrassment. Would you not do the same in my position?” Doyoung looked Yuta in the eyes for the first time that evening. 

“I guess,” Yuta replied. 

“So just end it, Yuta, I’m ready to get this over with,” Doyoung frowned, “You don’t even have to figure out how to do it gently, I already know.”

“Well, you don’t know. You don’t know how I feel. You didn’t even try to ask or understand what my feelings for you were. You just ghosted me,” Yuta snapped, “I have tried to talk to you, to get you to talk to me, to get Mark and Sicheng to get you to talk to me, and you still ignored me. So don’t tell me you already know because you don’t.”

Doyoung looked down again, pulling his knees closer to himself, “Sorry.”

“Just hear me out, will you?” Yuta asked, “If you really don’t want to, then I’ll leave, but if I could, I would like to tell you my side.”

Doyoung nodded. 

“I’m not going to lie to you, I wasn’t sure what to think at first. I was flattered, but also a bit weirded out, I mean, I’ve never been in that situation. Then I was telling Sicheng about what happened, and all I could think and worry about was how bad I hurt you and how horrible you must have been feeling. I didn’t even dwell on how I should react or feel about it, I was just worried about you. Sicheng told me to give you and myself space until I knew what I felt for you and if I felt the same about you that you did about me. I quickly realized that I definitely felt that same, but then you refused to even look at me, and it was killing me.”

“Wait, what?” Doyoung’s mind was cloudy, his brain too overwhelmed to fully process what Yuta was saying to him.

“Doyoung, I like you. I’m not sure I’m in love with you either, but I feel so strongly towards you. I like you so very much,” Yuta summed up his spiel. 

“Oh,” Doyoung let himself relax slightly, but still kept his arms around his knees. 

“Oh?” Yuta raised an eyebrow.

“I’m sorry,” Doyoung shook his head, “I didn’t expect this outcome. I don’t know how to respond.”

“Would-,” Yuta started.

“Kiss me,” Doyoung said suddenly.

“What?” Yuta did a double-take.

Doyoung curled back in on himself, “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that. That was stupid, I’m so sorry.”

“Doyoung, stop doing that,” Yuta gently put his hand on Doyoung’s knee, “Just because I get confused or surprised, doesn’t mean I’m rejecting you or the offer.”

“Oh, sorry,” Doyoung apologized.

“You don’t have to apologize,” Yuta told him, “Just let me get a chance to explain myself before jumping to conclusions.” 

Doyoung nodded.

“You can relax,” Yuta rubbed his knee, “If I’m going to kiss you I would rather you be relaxed than curled up in a ball.”

“Wait, you want to kiss me?” Doyoung asked, looking up at Yuta again. 

“Of course I do,” Yuta smiled, “I think I’ve wanted to for a long time, I just hadn’t quite realized it yet.”

“Oh,” Doyoung’s cheeks flushed. 

Doyoung moved his legs to sit with them crisscrossed, his hands in his lap. 

Yuta got up from the end of the bed to sit on the side of the bed in front of Doyoung, but he faced the wall. He turned his head to look at Doyoung. Doyoung leaned closer, Yuta doing the same. The tension built up slowly as they continued to stare, leaning close enough to each other to almost feel the other’s lips, but neither moved. Yuta let his eyes drift down to Doyoung’s lips, his heart picking up speed as he looked back into Doyoung’s eyes. 

Doyoung gently placed his hands on Yuta’s shoulders, letting his eyes flutter shut, his long lashes gently brushing his cheeks. Yuta flashbacked to the first party where they danced together and Doyoung looked so beautiful clinging onto him. Before he knew it, Yuta was pressing his lips onto Doyoung’s. Doyoung tightened his grip on shoulders, pulling Yuta closer to him. Yuta moved his body to face Doyoung completely. Doyoung leaned back against the headboard, pulling Yuta with him. Yuta sat on his knees, straddling Doyoung’s lap and leaning into the kiss, not realizing he moved his hips until Doyoung gasped underneath him. Yuta slipped his tongue into Doyoung’s mouth. Their tongues swirled around each other, and Yuta could taste the alcohol on Doyoung’s tongue. Doyoung slipped his hands under Yuta’s shirt and went to take it off. Yuta bit down on Doyoung’s lip as he pulled away. 

“Why’d you stop?” Doyoung said through shaky breaths. 

“You need to breathe, and we shouldn’t go any further tonight. You’ve been drinking, and I want it to be special,” Yuta blushed. 

“Oh, okay,” Doyoung smiled, “Cute.”

“Can we go on a date tomorrow?” Yuta asked.

“I would love to,” Doyoung replied. 

“Great,” Yuta smiled widely, and Doyoung felt his heart speed up, “I should get going. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you,” Doyoung said softly.

Yuta kissed him one more time on the lips, before leaving quick pecks all over his face which made Doyoung giggle as he kissed him. 

 

\----------------

 

_Being in love is something that can’t truly be described no matter how hard you try. You can get close, but there will always be a part of it that can’t be put into words, and maybe that’s what makes it so beautiful. When a person transcends the idea you have of them and the reality of them is even better, there’s something about them or the feelings one holds for them that lives in a place you can feel but never describe. It’s a special feeling, the feeling of true, real love, that overwhelms the senses and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Dear Yuta, my someday, my tomorrow, my forever, I love you more than words can express. Signed, Yours Truly._

“What are you doing?” Yuta asked, walking up behind Doyoung and wrapping his arms around his waist. 

Doyoung slammed his computer shut, “You can’t read it yet, silly.”

“What is it?” Yuta asked. 

“My parting gift for you,” Doyoung told him. 

“Parting gift?” Yuta chuckled, “I’m graduating, not leaving the country.”

“Yeah, but your apartment is three hours away, and you’ll be busy with your training at Quantico, Mister Intelligence Analyst,” Doyoung told him. 

“You can move in with me,” Yuta replied. 

Doyoung smiled and rolled his eyes, “I told you I still have to graduate. I can’t do a three-hour commute. After I graduate, I will.”

“I’m counting on it,” Yuta replied. “Can you tell me what the parting gift is at least?”

“All the things I’ve written about you over the past year compiled into a Complete Collection. It’s so you can read them when you miss me and need to be reminded of how much I love you if we don’t have time to talk on the phone or visit each other,” Doyoung told him. 

“Doyoung,” Yuta could feel his eyes watering, “I love you so much. Thank you. That means so much to me. I will treasure it.”

“I love you too,” Doyoung leaned his head against Yuta’s chest. 

“I need to get you a parting gift,” Yuta muttered.

Doyoung pulled Yuta’s jacket tighter around his body, “This is enough. It makes me think of all of our memories, good and bad, and that’s essentially the same thing I did for you. So just let me keep your jacket. So I can wear it when I miss you.”

Yuta nodded, “Okay.”

Doyoung turned around in Yuta’s arms, looking into his eyes, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Yuta smiled. 

“Kiss me,” Doyoung said. 

“With pleasure,” Yuta replied. 

Yuta kissed Doyoung, placing his hands on Doyoung’s cheeks as Doyoung wrapped his arms around Yuta’s waist. Their lips moved in sync, the kiss slow and soft. Doyoung felt himself smile into the kiss, which made Yuta do the same. 

_Yeah, the real thing is so much better._

**Author's Note:**

> This is a mess of self-indulgence bc I love Yuta and Doyoung and I wanted to write about them and I came up with the idea while doing laundry while drunk so that's fun. anyways yeh i hope you enjoy it! you can find me on twitter @cozynajaemin!


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